Transgender Teen Survival Guide

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

Hi and hello! I do not understand your question— if you want to reword and resubmit, feel free, or maybe the followers will chime in with replies if they know what you’re asking.

Followers say:

tofu-pofu said: i think they’re asking if you had a double mastectomy or breast implants

Lee says:

Oh gotcha! Thanks for clarifying & helping me (& the anon) out.

I had a double mastectomy (inverted T incision) which is a type of gender-affirming ‘masculinizing’ top surgery when I was around 3 months on T.

I later had a hysterectomy (& related procedures: removal of ovarian tubes and cervix) and phalloplasty (& related procedures: creation of a scrotum, glansplasty, testicular implant, erectile implant) so in total I’ve had 5 gender-affirming surgeries since my phalloplasty stuff was split into three stages.

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

I would advise you to speak with the camp staff or counselors in advance, if you haven’t already, and make sure they understand the situation and fully support having you sleep in the boy’s cabin and also do all of the other activities with the boys, if that’s what you want.

You don’t want to have to deal with any last-minute surprises like finding out they’re re-assigned you back to the girl’s cabin or plan on having you change in the girl’s bathrooms instead of a private gender-neutral or male space after you’re at camp, so you gotta get all of the details ironed out in advance.

That includes making sure you’ve thought about what you’re comfortable with in terms of bathrooms, changing spaces, locker rooms, etc, and how you plan to handle things like binding or packing (and cleaning STP packers), how you plan to manage your period if you have a period, and whether you plan on coming out to your bunk-mates (and, by extension, to the whole camp because you can’t assume everyone will keep your secrets) if you aren’t already out to them.

It isn’t safe to wear a binder 24/7 for two months so you presumably will not be binding at night when you’re in the boy’s cabin which means at some point over the next two months at least one boy in your cabin is likely to see you without the binder as you get ready for bed at night and get out of bed in the morning, even if you try to avoid it. If you don’t mind that, or don’t bind anyway, then it’s not a big deal, but it’s something to consider because it can make it harder to stay stealth if that is something you had hoped to do.

Make sure you have a plan for your menstrual supplies if you use any, and bring enough of them to have some back-ups. Think about what is going to make you feel the most comfortable, whether it’s pads, tampons, menstrual cups, menstrual discs, period underwear, etc, and then think about the logistics of it– disposing of used pads or tampons in the men’s bathroom or bringing bags so you can wrap it yourself and carry it to another trash to get rid of, how you could discreetly wash a menstrual cup or period underwear in the men’s bathroom, and so on. Don’t bring anything to camp that you haven’t used before– this isn’t the time to bring a single menstrual cup only to find the size you got isn’t comfy for you!

Overall, the largest piece of advice that I’d have is to just be yourself, and be friendly to others. Take the opportunity to get to know your fellow cabin mates better if they aren’t already your friends– they could be the ones who either stand up for you and have your back if some other student gives you trouble, or they could end up being the source of trouble if they feel uncomfortable with you and/or are transphobic. You don’t need to be best friends with all of them, but don’t be a wallflower and ignore them either, and try to be reasonable even when they’re not.

You might encounter curiosity or questions from your peers about your gender identity and body. While it’s entirely up to you how much you want to share, being prepared with a simple and confident response can help navigate these interactions smoothly.

Respect the privacy and boundaries of your cabin mates, just as you would expect them to respect yours. Establishing mutual respect early on can contribute to a harmonious living environment. Even so, living with other folks means you may have disagreements and friction over things like how messy your space is, how late people stay up, etc, especially when you’re living together for two months, so be prepared to stand up for yourself but also remember to try and be a problem-solver and take a minute to cool down before you get into a fight and learn to let some things go.

As always, remember that you have the right to be there and to feel comfortable in your surroundings. If you encounter any challenges or need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted camp counselor or staff member. They are there to support you and ensure that your camp experience is positive and safe. If someone does cause drama or is bullying you or is transphobic etc, don’t be afraid to snitch! You gotta take care of you.

All that being said, I don’t have a lot of experience with this type of situation myself– I went to a week of school sleep-away camp in 5th grade and 6th grade but that was before I came out, and the next time I went to a similar sleep-away camp thing was a brief experience in college, so I was a young adult and had been on T and had 2 of my 5 surgeries by that point and I only needed to share a room with my partner. I would like to encourage our followers to add on with more tips if you have relevant experiences and can help anon out! And anon, when you come back from camp, please do share any life-hacks you’ve picked up with us to help the next young trans camper out!!

Followers, anything to add?

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

Good luck my friend!

I know that surgery can be scary, but by the time you’re ready to have surgery, you’ve already had a consultation with your surgeon and a pre-op appointment, and may have also gotten a letter from a mental health provider. During this process you’ve had the opportunity to have discussions with your providers about the procedure, its risks, benefits, and potential outcomes. You’ve probably also spent a fair amount of time researching surgery online, if you’re anything like me, and may have also spoken to post-op individuals about their experiences for additional insights. So you already know what to expect from the surgical process.

It can help to remind yourself why you’re going through surgery. You chose to have top surgery for a reason– probably multiple reasons! Think about the goals you hope to achieve through top surgery– you probably hope it will have a positive impact on your mental health and quality of life. Keep that hope in mind and envision your life post-surgery.

I had top surgery myself, with no complications, over 6 years ago, and I’m very happy. There were a couple (maybe many) moments in the early post-op period when I had a lot of anxiety and worry, but top surgery was the right choice for me and I am glad I went through with it– now I have the rest of my life to live in a body that I feel comfortable in. I can’t promise you that you will not experience complications or that you won’t have any regrets, but I can tell you that I have faith in your decision-making abilities.

If you trust the expertise of your surgical team and feel like you have information you need to make an informed decision, and you feel getting surgery now with this team is the right choice for you, then it probably is. Remember that you are the expert on your own needs, and that you know that you are making a decision that will help you to grow into the future that you want to have for yourself.

Pre-op anxiety is super normal, but taking care of your mental health is important! If you need more support than you can get from those around you (Friends, family, partner, etc) then reach out and ask for help. If you’re experiencing significant emotional distress or struggling to cope with the surgical process, a trans-friendly therapist or counselor can be really helpful in managing things like post-op anxiety or depression.

And again, you got this anon!! I hope you have a smooth and uncomplicated recovery.

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

Good luck!!! You got this!!

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

As a matter of fact, I am indeed trans! I specifically identify as genderqueer, non-binary, transmasculine, transgender, and transsexual, although that’s neither here nor there.

I actually didn’t come out to my parents– I came out to my friends, and then more publicly to my classmates at school. Then one of my classmates told her parents about me being trans, and that parent met my parents at a party and mentioned that I was trans. Unfortunately it just so happened that while they were at the party and out of the house, I took the opportunity to cut my hair short at home. Yikes!

Anyway, I would fully recommend actually coming out over being outed, if you have the choice, because then you have some control over the start of the conversation and can initially let them know whatever you want them to know.

As always, safety comes first. Do not come out if you do not think you will be safe. If there’s any risk of harm or severe negative consequences, you should wait to come out until you’re in a more secure position, like being 18 or older, financially independent, not living at home, or at the very least, having a support system in place like a trusted therapist who can help you deal with the repercussions of coming out.

There’s a difference between being genuinely unsafe and feeling uncomfortable. Most people will feel their fight-or-flight anxiety response kick in when they have a really scary and stressful conversation, especially when they’re talking with someone who means a lot to them and has a lot of authority in their life. But being anxious about their reaction might make something feel unsafe, emotionally, even if you logically know that you are safe and they will not kick you out, abuse you, etc.

That doesn’t mean that your feelings aren’t real feelings though. If you think that you would not be able to cope if your parents don’t immediately and fully accept and support you, then maybe it isn’t the right time to come out either. Your emotional well being is important, and if you would be unsafe as a result of mental illness/extreme distress after coming out (if your parent’s reaction isn’t what you had hoped it would be) then you should consider that to be just as important as if you were physically in danger from an external source. After you’ve had some time and therapy and got re-stabilized then you can reconsider coming out.

Let’s say that you’ve decided to proceed with coming out. The next step is to continue to gauge their attitudes. You’ve already observed some of their views. This can be a good starting point to understand how they might react. Remember, though, that parents’ reactions to their own child can sometimes be different from their general opinions. So they might be fine with your trans friends, but not be fine with you being trans yourself.

You can’t fully predict what will happen, but making sure you have a sense of what they currently think might help a little– if the topic hasn’t come up in over a year and you’re working off of what you remember them saying far in the past, it’s possible their views have changed by now.

But either way, you’ll never really know what will happen after you come out, so if you want to do it, you just gotta go for it.

Now it’s time to prepare. You may want to have resources ready for your parents, so looking to find those resources should be your next step. Are there local support groups for parents of trans kids and do you know of any peers whose parents have attended? They might have questions or misconceptions about being a trans man, so be ready to share some basic 101 information with them and don’t assume they understand what it really means to be trans. Websites, books, or even contact information for a knowledgeable counselor can be helpful.

Think about what you want to say beforehand. What’s the point of coming out? Do you want something to change, like having them call you a different name, use different pronouns, buy you different clothes? Do you want them to understand the nuances of your identity and know the right terms and words to use and what terms and words are offensive? Think about all of your goals, and then write down the key points you want to get down.

This is the time to consider your answers to the questions they might ask you, like “how long have you felt this way,” “do you plan on medically transitioning,” “what does this mean for your sexual orientation,” etc. Even if you don’t know all the answers yet and are still figuring yourself out, you want to have an idea of what you’ll tell them, even if it’s just “I don’t know yet, I’m still figuring it out”.

I’m personally not a fan of gimmicky/“cute” ways of coming out when you aren’t sure whether your family will be accepting. So I would recommend just using a letter to initially come out if you’re worried about getting overwhelmed or forgetting important details, and being prepared to follow that up by having a sit-down conversation.

Have a support system in place. This could be friends, other family members, teachers, counselors, or online communities who understand and support your identity. I always recommend scheduling an event with friends either for directly after you come out so you have an excuse to leave the conversation and go, or at least for the next day so you can decompress and discuss it with people who support you.

When you’re as ready as you can be, choose the right moment. Find a time when your parents are likely to be calm and not preoccupied with other stressors (so not on their birthday, a major holiday, etc) and either leave the letter for them or ask them if they are available to have an important conversation.

This might not always be possible, but a peaceful environment can facilitate a better conversation. Choose a time and place where you feel safe and where you won’t be interrupted. This could be at home during a quiet weekend afternoon, an evening after dinner, or during a walk together, depending on your family dynamics.

Finally, it’s time to have the conversation. You should be clear and direct. Tell them “I’m transgender and that means I feel I am a man,” or whatever language you feel comfortable with. Don’t hint at it because they might not know what you’re trying to tell them, just tell them exactly what you want to say.

It’s okay to admit if you don’t have all the answers yet. Transitioning is a journey, and it’s fine to be figuring things out as you go.

But if that isn’t the case for you, and you are sure, then you should be ready to stand up for yourself and tell them that. They might react positively, negatively, or be unsure, but their feelings are not your fault/your responsibility because you’re living true to yourself. It’s okay if they need time to process the information, but don’t back down and let them railroad you into saying that you’re not sure or didn’t mean it if you are sure and do mean it.

Finally, be prepared for the long haul. Understand that your parents might need time to fully grasp and accept your identity. Patience can be challenging but is often necessary since it can take several months to years before they come around and truly support you. That means that one conversation is usually not enough. Be open to ongoing discussions and expect them to be sometimes awkward.

We have a coming out page with more info, although some of the links are old and broke (I promise I’ll get to fixing it some day!)

Followers, any advice for anon?

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

Your experience is not odd or unusual! Gender identity and expression are deeply personal and can vary greatly from person to person. Many non-binary people experience fluctuations in their gender dysphoria, which can change depending on how they are presenting or how they feel on a particular day.

The discomfort you feel with your chest when presenting more femininely, while being fine with it in masculine clothing, is a valid experience.

That being said, one thing to consider is whether you’re actually comfortable in feminine outfits in the current moment with the body/presentation that you currently have. You might be feeling self-conscious in women’s clothes because you just aren’t comfortable with wearing those clothes right now because it emphasizes things that you’re not comfortable with (Aka reminds you of your chest).

You may want to experiment with different feminine clothing styles that might make you feel more comfortable. Sometimes a different cut, fit, or type of fabric can make a big difference in how the clothes drape on your chest, and it can be possible to wear a feminine outfit which doesn’t emphasize your chest. Men’s floral shirts with a stiff fabric can look feminine but also provide a good amount of coverage.

If you find out that even with different styles of clothes you still feel uncomfortable with your chest when presenting femininely, you may want to consider binding. We have more information about binding on our Binding FAQ page, so I won’t get into the details of that right now, but binding might be a good option to creating the profile you like in the clothes you like.

But I think sometimes we tend to overthink these things. If you’re saying “Doing X thing makes me feel bad!” and X thing is optional, and not doing X thing is neutral (or least not-bad for your health), then the solution might be “OK, just don’t do X thing!”

So ultimately if you don’t feel comfortable with your chest while dressing femininely, then maybe one solution is to not wear feminine clothes and then you don’t have chest dysphoria and the problem is solved.

I think some people tend to react defensively to that, and I’m not saying you really Need to stop wearing feminine clothes, but I do think it’s something worth considering. Do you really enjoy wearing feminine clothes? Or is it something you think you should like, something you used to like, or something you want to like but don’t really like the reality of?

I used to have this confusion myself for a while with some gender expression stuff, but eventually I realized that in general there’s a difference between admiring something and thinking a style looks cool and actually feeling comfortable doing that thing/wearing those clothes. I might like the idea of certain things but they don’t make me feel comfortable and self-confident because it just feels like it’s not me.

I do know that there are some people who had top surgery, for example, and then were super excited to start wearing women’s shirts and crop tops and stuff like that because they really liked wearing women’s clothes and just didn’t like the way their body looked in those clothes, but it can vary.

Personally, when I was pre-op I wasn’t super comfortable with how I looked in clothes (or without clothes lol) because I had a lot of body dysphoria. After I had my surgeries I became more comfortable with my body which included being comfortable about how it looks in clothes. But I didn’t change my style because I still like the same things (I’m still wearing the same sweatshirt as I wore at 16 on the daily!) I just feel more comfortable in general, so I still tend to only wear men’s clothes.

Anyway, circling back to where I started, it’s possible that not feeling comfortable about your chest while wearing feminine clothes might be a sign that you’re not comfortable with your chest in general, and the only reason you don’t mind it in men’s clothes is because you notice it less because the clothes aren’t made to emphasize it. Journaling or reflecting on your feelings when you dress differently can help you better understand your dysphoria and what triggers it, and that might be a place to start if you’re trying to get to the bottom of it. Therapy can also help you untangle your feelings.

I would also say that as things are now, experimenting with different solutions is a good idea. To recap, that includes not wearing clothes that cause chest dysphoria, wearing the clothes but also binding, wearing similar clothes but differently styled (with a zip-up sweatshirt left unzipped to hide your chest, a men’s shirt with a stiffer different fabric but a similar pattern/print than the women’s shirts you like, etc), or just wearing the same dysphoria-triggering clothes without binding but trying coping strategies to deal with the dysphoria.

These feelings can change and shift over time, so you may feel differently in the future– maybe you’ll grow more comfortable with your chest in time, or maybe you’ll start to experience more persistent dysphoria and ultimately undergo surgery, or a myriad of other possibilities. It’s okay if your feelings change over the course of your transition and it’s perfectly normal!

You only recently started to figure out that you’re non-binary and that means you likely haven’t fully explored your identity yet. There are still some things about yourself that you may not really know yet– we can surprise ourselves as we grow into our identities/selves and grow up.

I can’t really tell you what your feelings mean for you because only you can figure out who you are and what it all means, but I can tell you that it’s okay to feel that way, and that you’ll figure it all out eventually.

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

You can try starting slowly incorporating more masculine-styled women’s clothing into your wardrobe. This is usually a gradual process anyway since it can take time to save up enough money to purchase enough new shirts/pants/shoes etc. to fully replace your current wardrobe, especially if you’re working part-time as a babysitter, dog-walker, etc.

Clothes that are more structured or straight-cut, like button-down shirts or straight-leg pants, can help create a more traditionally masculine silhouette. Layering with hoodies or jackets can also be effective. You can sometimes find these things styled as “boyfriend” clothes, and you can tell your parents that it’s the current trend/style. You can see our post on finding masculine clothing in the women’s section here.

Another easy change is dropping the accessories. That means not wearing feminine necklaces/earrings/bracelets/hairbands, not painting your nails, etc. It’s easy to say you want to keep things basic and sporty and that’s why you’re going without the accessories. Wearing a neutral watch or a smart watch is another accessory to consider instead of a thin-strapped “women’s watch” if you wear watches at all that is.

You can see our post on purse alternatives here since bags are often the biggest practical change in the accessory category. Not carrying a purse when you hang out with your friends in the mall, go out on a trip, etc is obviously a high-impact change to make.

If possible, choose a haircut that’s more typically masculine. Shorter haircuts, or styles that are longer on the top and shorter on the sides, can subtly change your appearance. If you use a female reference for your photo when you show your parents what you want they may not suspect anything. You can see our post on convincing your parents to let you get a haircut without coming out here.

If a haircut isn’t possible, consider styles like pulling your hair back in a low bun or wearing hats. If you’re Black, cornrows, box braids, and locs are styles that can be gender neutral depending on how you wear them. There’s a few links on that here.

There are also things you can do to come across as subtly more masculine without buying anything at all.

Sometimes, adopting a more traditionally masculine posture and body language can make a difference. This doesn’t usually have a big impact on passing, but it can help you feel better about yourself and boost your self-confidence and reduce dysphoria, and it’s something that your family may not notice because it’s easy to alter when you’re with them. You can see a post about masculine body language here.

Similarly, you can try voice training and practice speaking in a slightly lower tone or in a more monotone style, which is often perceived as more masculine. Be careful not to strain your voice, though, and maybe avoid doing it while you’re with your family. You can see a post about voice training here.

Engaging in exercises that build upper body strength can also help in achieving a more masculine physique. Focus on workouts that target the shoulders, back, and arms. You can often do body weight workouts at home in your room without needing a gym membership or specialized exercise equipment.

Find a support system, whether it’s friends, online communities, or a counselor/therapist, who understand and support your gender identity. This can provide a safe space to express yourself and explore your identity. It can help to have other friends who are also masculine to feel like you’re not isolated.

Observing and adopting some masculine behavioral cues, like how men typically occupy space or interact in social settings, can also be a subtle way to express masculinity, but you want to be careful that you’re not imitating toxic masculinity / obnoxious guys. Similarly, engaging in hobbies or interests that are stereotypically masculine can be a subtle way to align with male peers, but always choose activities that genuinely interest you and you can probably find other guys out there who are also interested in the things you already care about to be friends.

The above suggestions are all things that you can do without your parents necessarily noticing. Binding is something that may not be subtle depending on your chest size, so while it is possible to sometimes bind in front of family without them noticing (saying it’s a sports bra, for example) I would recommend keeping your binder in your backpack and only changing into it at school in the bathroom / at a friend’s house / in a public bathroom when you’re out with friends but not family, etc. unless you really are wearing only a single well-fitting sports bra. You can see more about buying a binder and that whole process in this post.

It’s harder to be seen as masculine or male when you’re pre-medical transition and not passing which means people often have to “overcompensate” by being more masculine than they would otherwise choose to be, but as always, I’d like to note that it can be possible to pass as male / be masculine while doing any of the things I recommended changing!

So while I might advise someone who wants to come off as more masculine “don’t paint your nails” for example, that is a general rule and doesn’t mean that you have to follow those guidelines if you’re really passionate about painting your nails. You can always choose whatever gender expression you’re comfortable with. There are plenty of guys who wear nail polish and otherwise come across as masculine or who are recognized as men. It’s important to remember that masculinity is diverse and there’s no one right way to be masculine.

Followers, any other tips on performing subtle masculinity that won’t make transphobic parents suspicious?

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

If sleeping with your arms crossed is comfortable for you and doesn’t cause pain or discomfort, it’s likely fine. Everyone has different sleeping preferences and what’s comfortable for one person may not be for another.

Your body naturally shifts around while asleep. While you may tend to cross your arms as you fall asleep, that doesn’t mean your arms are actually crossed all night– you likely toss and turn a bit without realizing it, and that type of adjustment is done automatically by your body while you’re asleep so you don’t necessarily control whether your arms stay crossed!

So in general, it’s fine to sleep with your arms crossed if that feels comfortable to you as long as you aren’t doing something to restrain your arms in place overnight.

If you were doing something to keep your arms crossed while asleep that might be an issue– crossing your arms tightly overnight and not allowing them to move freely might impact circulation, especially if you’re applying pressure on your arms for an extended period. If you notice any numbness, tingling, or discomfort in your arms, it might be a sign to change your sleeping position.

Similarly, for some individuals, especially those with larger chests, sleeping in certain positions might put pressure on the chest, which could potentially cause bruising, discomfort or pain. It’s important to listen to your body and adjust your sleeping position if you experience any discomfort, but this isn’t really a big problem for most people as long as they aren’t tying their arms up or using clothing to restrain them or something.

Generally, your sleeping position does not significantly impact breast health. Concerns like sagging are mostly due to genetics, hormones, age, and changes in body weight rather than how you sleep. If you’re worried that something is bad for your boobs for a particular reason, like you’ve noticed a change in your chest and are wondering what might have caused it, then you should speak with a doctor.

Things you should always bring up with your doctor include (but are not limited to) a lump in the breast or underarm, a change in size, shape, or appearance of the breast (if you aren’t expecting the change because of puberty/hormones), changes to the skin (including irritation, dimpling, puckering, redness, or scaling), nipple changes (like inversion, unusual and persistent itching, or scaling), discharge (other than breast milk), persistent or unusual pain in any area of the breast, and swelling of all or part of a breast. If you ever wonder whether something’s normal or a cause for concern, it doesn’t hurt to ask your doctor. My aunt had breast cancer and she knew something was wrong before she went to the doctor because she was afraid to find out what it was, so I tend to bring the topic up a lot even when it’s not strictly related to the question because it’s something I’m passionate about.

Anyhow, I hope this helped to answer your question!

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

Yes, it is possible, but fat grafting can carry risks (necrosis, infection, lumps) and most of the fat that is grafted doesn’t remain there and is reabsorbed by your body so it often requires multiple sessions.

As a result, fat grafting wouldn’t be able to provide a comparable increase in breast size compared to implants.

Fat grafting might be used to correct small divots and smooth out the contour after someone has had a double mastectomy for top surgery, for example, but it wouldn’t be used to increase the breast size by a cup or more as is typical in a breast augmentation.

Solid silicone and saline-filled non-textured breast implants are typically your best option for breast augmentation if estrogen does not create the breast growth you had hoped for.

A plastic surgeon can tell you more about the risks of implants, but risks may include:

1. Capsular Contracture: This is a condition where the scar tissue around the implant tightens, which can cause the breast to feel hard and may result in discomfort or changes in the breast’s appearance.
2. Implant Rupture or Leakage: Breast implants can rupture or leak. A saline implant rupture will lead to deflation and an obvious change in breast size, while a silicone rupture may go unnoticed (silent rupture) but can cause pain, breast shape changes, or even local complications.
3. Infection and Bleeding: As with any surgical procedure, there’s a risk of infection and bleeding. In some cases, the implant may need to be removed and reinserted after the infection is treated.
4. Changes in Sensation: Some people experience changes in nipple or breast sensation. This can be an increase or decrease in sensitivity and may be temporary or permanent.
5. Breast Pain: Some individuals might experience pain in their breasts following the surgery, which can be temporary or chronic.
6. Asymmetry or Unsatisfactory Cosmetic Outcome: There might be dissatisfaction with the aesthetic outcome, including issues like asymmetry, unsatisfactory size, or scarring.
7. Cancer: A rare but serious risk associated with certain types of textured breast implants is a type cancer.
8. Need for Additional Surgeries: Implants do not always last for your entire life. Over time, they may need to be replaced or removed due to various issues like cosmetic concerns or complications.
9. Interference with Mammograms: Breast implants can interfere with the detection of breast cancer during mammograms, requiring additional, specialized views.
10. Systemic Symptoms: Some individuals report a variety of systemic symptoms known as breast implant illness, including autoimmune diseases, joint pain, mental confusion, muscle aches and chronic fatigue.

While all of that sounds scary, and you may feel like the risks aren’t worth the benefit for you, many folks undergo breast augmentation without complications. It’s a choice each person has to make in consultation with a plastic surgeon based on their own needs, goals, and medical history.

Shared decision-making with a surgeon can help you decide whether breast augmentation is right for you. They can also help put the risks in context and can tell you the percent of patients that typically have those complications– often it’s pretty low.

So if you may be considering undergoing a breast augmentation, the potential for complications are something you should discuss with a surgeon– they can also tell you more about what techniques can be used for augmentation.

Followers, anything to add?

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

Identifying as transgender while exploring your gender is not trans erasure!

Trans erasure typically refers to the denial or dismissal of transgender identities and experiences, which is not the case when someone is genuinely exploring their gender identity.

Trying on labels to see whether they feel comfortable or right is part of figuring out who you are, and calling yourself transgender while you’re questioning can be part of that.

Your experience and identity are valid, even if you’re still in the process of understanding them. You don’t need to have everything figured out yet– and there’s no shame in changing your mind or realizing that transgender is not the label for you.

If you decide you’re not trans, you’ve still had an adventure into gender that likely widened your understanding of your own self and your understanding of other people- no harm done.

Being yourself is important, regardless of what label you ultimately decide to use, so don’t worry about whether you’re “allowed” to call yourself something, just do whatever makes you feel comfortable because everyone is allowed to express themselves in whatever way they want to.