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Transgender Teen Survival Guide

We are a blog created for people of all ages who have questions concerning their gender identity. Read our FAQ here!

Transgender is an umbrella term that is inclusive of, but not limited to (nor forced upon), trans women, trans men, non-binary people, genderfluid people, genderqueer people, agender people, and anyone who doesn't identify as the gender assigned to them at birth.

questingqueer:

What is packing? 

Packing is when a person without a large biological penis wears something in their pants in order to mimic the appearance or function of having a penis or a larger penis. (Thanks to @alotofbandages for the wording help!)

Usually, trans-masculine people pack but anyone is allowed to and able to if they are interested in doing so (despite the language in the links which is geared towards trans guys). Some people just aren’t interested in any of this; that’s totally ok and vald.

To be quite honest, packing usually doesn’t make or break passing, if passing is something you care about. You don’t have to pack to pass as a guy in most circumstances! In general, if you aren’t swimming in a speedo, peeing at a urinal, changing in front of others, or getting groped/felt up, people won’t notice if you don’t have a penis. Packing doesn’t help everyone’s dysphoria either; some people find that it can make them feel worse, because they’re more aware of the part that they’re “missing”. 

What do I want? 

(Read the links! They go way more in depth than this post.)

Before rushing into a purchase, it’s important to consider what you’re looking for. You may be able to make a basic packer or STP yourself. That can save you money, and help you decide if you want to purchase a product.

Single-function items that are either just for packing, just for peeing, or just for sex are often less expensive than multiple function ones. If only one aspect bothers you, like if you only want to be able to pee standing up, then looking at only STP devices would be a good place to start, for example. 

If you’re looking for something that can be used to pack and have sex with, or pack and pee with, or pack, pee, and have sex with, the price starts to rise (if you aren’t making something yourself and you’re buying something).

Choosing the size of your packer

I’m making this a whole section because I have very strong feelings on this issue. Let’s say you’ve decided you’re going to buy a soft packer. You’re looking at the different models online. You’ve chosen one, and now you need to pick a size. 

If you are packing without the intention of having sex with your packer, you want it to look like a flaccid penis, not an erection. There’s a lot of pressure to have a big ol’ dick, but I want you to know that it is not what most cis men with penises have in their pants. Yes, 3.5 inches is the average flaccid penis size- this means that about half of all men have a flaccid penis that’s a bit bigger, and half have a flaccid penis that’s a bit smaller. Everyone’s got a different penis, and it’s okay if you’re bigger or smaller than average, but I think it’s extremely important to be aware of what the average is so you are making a conscientious choice to go bigger or smaller. Penises get larger when they’re erect, so if you’re getting a dildo or a hard packer, you should consider if you want to go larger or not, but if you’re just soft packing, I want you to take a moment and think about it; I know your instinct is to go for a medium or large sized packer, but the labeling is deceiving. What packer companies label as “small” is usually the average size flaccid penis; “medium” is usually bigger than average. It’s harder to pack with a larger packer than it is with a smaller packer, larger packers are often more expensive than smaller ones, and large packers are often not realistically flaccid lengths and look like hard-ons. 

I’m not saying that no cis men have large flaccid penises; that isn’t true. I am saying that the media makes it seem like men on average have larger penises than they do. Men in porn usually have larger than average size penises, and they’re usually erect, which means they’re sometimes double the length of the flaccid penis. Because society makes having a larger penis seem enviable, men sometimes overstate the size of their penis if you ask them because they’re worried that their penis is small. Small penis jokes made to emasculate men continue to perpetrate the myth of the Ubiquitous Large Dick because nobody wants to admit that their penis is small. Let’s have some radical body acceptance up in here and say that it’s okay to have whatever size penis or packer you have, and it doesn’t make you unmanly to have a small one, or extra-masculine to have a large one. 

I want you to look at a ruler. Stop reading this post, get up, get a ruler, and come back. Okay? Now measure out the length of the average flaccid penis. Three and a half inches. Look at it. Now look at the length of the packer you were considering buying. How different is it? This is an activity to make you more mindful of what size is average. Pay attention to the the junk of the guys you see in the street and who you interact with on the daily. Chances are you can hardly notice a dick print, especially if you’re at work or at school. Even the Nude standing men gallery on Wikipedia is somewhere to start. 

Below is a paragraph from Hudson’s FTM guide saying the same thing:

In order to see what male anatomy tends to look like in underwear, in swim trunks, or jeans or slacks, it can be helpful to look at men’s clothing catalogs or internet retailers of menswear or men’s underwear– this way, you can stare as much as you want at guys’ crotches without having to worry about offending or upsetting anyone. The web site www.erectionphotos.com has a “soft/hard” section, showing penises in both flaccid and erect states. It shows variation in the size and shape of men’s penises, and shows men of varying body types and ages. Searching the web for “flaccid penis photos” will yield other results as well. Just keep in mind while you are looking that the average length for a flaccid penis tends to be just over 3 inches, and that the men you see in most porn sites and movies will tend to be very well-endowed, and will usually be shown while erect.

I’m trying to save you from falling into the trap of buying a big dick for the hell of buying a big dick without considering it. Packer companies will try to lure you into buying a bigger packer because they make more money that way. It’s just a body part, y’all, let’s not get too caught up in the hype. Don’t buy into toxic masculinity! There’s nothing wrong with having a small penis. There’s nothing wrong with having an average penis. 

The below graph shows the frequency of certain size penises in centimeters. (X)

image
  1. One study showed the mean flaccid penis length to be 3.5 inches (8.9 cm)
  2. A review of several studies found the average flaccid length to be 3.5–3.9 inches (9–10 cm)

Alright, I think you get the point. Flaccid penises aren’t as big as you might think they are. Now, I’m going to admit something: I have multiple packers, and they range in size from 4″ to 7.5″. Yeah, 7.5″ is big. It’s almost unrealistically big. I am not telling you that you can’t buy a big packer if you want a big packer; I have a large packer myself. Yes, getting a smaller packer is usually better to start out with if you’re new to packing. But if you’re experienced with packing or if you just really want a big packer, go ahead and get one! You may not be striving for realism and that’s 100% okay. And even though 3.5″ is the average flaccid penis size, there are people with larger penises! Penis size doesn’t correlate to your height, race, foot size, as some myths suggest. A smaller person could have a larger penis and a tall person could have a smaller one, the two variables aren’t dependant! The point of this paragraph is just to make sure that you’re making a conscious decision if you choose to get a packer that’s larger than usual knowing that it may be a bit unwieldy, not to police your packer buying. Some people have larger packers and they can pack easily with them and love them, and that’s a-okay. 

Spend time researching packers!

Look through different websites to see the packers available for purchase. Read reviews of the packers on forums and on Tumblr. Watch YouTube reviews of packers. Contact people about their packers and ask them questions if they’re open to it! This post is just a very cursory and topical overview of packers, it’s not all there is to know. Now you are aware of what packing is, but not fully informed on the pros and cons of individual different packers. There is so much out there on different blogs! Trawl the net, ask Dark Google what the best dick is (that’s a joke because different packers are good for different people depending on what they’re looking for so there is no one best packer but yeah, google ftm packers and stp packers and pack and play packers or whatever you want!) Make sure you know how much money you’re willing to spend buying a packer. Start to save up money if you’re broke.

Sidenote: Genitals can be a shade or two darker than the rest of your skin, so you might want to choose a packer one tone darker than your thigh. However, I urge you to be cautious with this- you don’t want a packer that’s way too dark for you! If you’re white, you shouldn’t be getting a black penis, that’s Too Far.

Make sure you read multiple reviews before you buy a packer, because some companies are scams or just shitty. Three companies to avoid are below:

  • Don’t shop at packer locker (It’s a scam and I personally lost $15 dollars from them that I never got back and others have lost more)
  • Don’t shop at The Ultimate Prosthetic (This is also a scam and people have lost hundreds of dollars and never recieved products)
  • Don’t shop at FtmConnect (the owner is racist and the packers aren’t even that great anyway)

Some of the packers you could buy:

This is an incomplete list, and there are more options for packers/STPs/etc out there!! If the link doesn’t work, just google the product name because most of these are sold in multiple stores/websites (and send me an ask so I can fix the link). 

Packers

STPs

STP Packers

Pack n’ plays & hard packers

Pack, play, and STP

Important Links:

How Do I Actually Buy One?

Method one: You have a credit/debit card.

  1. Pick a packer online.
  2. Buy the packer. Clear your internet history if you’re at home and not using a library computer. Make sure the invoice is sent to an email that only you have access to.
  3. Either have it shipped to your house or to a friend’s house if your parents will be suspicious.

Method 2: You have cash

  1. Pick the packer you want online, add it to the website’s shopping cart and start to check out until you find how much it costs with shipping and tax.
  2. Save up enough money to buy the binder. Make sure you have a few dollars extra, to buy the card itself and just incase.
  3. Go into a store and buy a prepaid VISA card. They have them at lots of stores, even CVS. (You can also ask a friend to do this if you can’t get to a store on your own)
  4. Buy the binder online. If you don’t have access to a computer at home, use one at the library.
  5. Clear your internet history if you’re at home. Make sure the invoice is sent to an email that only you have access to.
  6. Ship it to a consenting friend’s house or an accepting relative, if you have one.
  7. Hide it when you get it and keep it hidden when you aren’t wearing it.

Method 3: You have supportive parents

  1. Asking parents for a packer 

Method 4: You have friends with a debit card and you have cash

  1. If you have a friend or supportive relative with a debit card or a credit card, ask them to buy the packer of your choice and ship it to their house
  2. Pay the person back in cash

Please feel free to reblog with more information on packing, or more helpful links if you know any! 

If you have a packer and are willing to help others with their choice, reblog this post and write what kind of packer you have so people with questions about that packer can contact you!

This post will be occasionally updated if new info is needed, so contact me if a link is broken. Last updated: 7/31/2017

Posted on July 31, 2017 with 5,696 notes
Reblogged from questingqueer | Originally from questingqueer
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